"Against the average user, anything works; there's no need for complex security software. Against the skilled attacker, on the other hand, nothing works."\
"As someone once said, "Just because you're not interested in politics does not mean that politics won't be interested in you." And staying away from politics either because you think tech will make laws irrelevant or because there's no good way to influence laws just opens the field for people who don't cherish either of those illusions to make things very bad indeed."\
"The infinite possibilities each day holds should stagger the mind. The sheer number of experiences I could have is uncountable, breathtaking, and I'm sitting here refreshing my inbox. We live trapped in loops, reliving a few days over and over, and we envision only a handful of paths laid out before us. We see the same things every day, we respond the same way, we think the same thoughts, each day a slight variation on the last, every moment smoothly following the gentle curves of societal norms. We act like if we just get through today, tomorrow our dreams will come back to us. And no, I don't have all the answers. I don't know how to jolt myself into seeing what each moment could become. But I do know one thing: the solution doesn't involve watering down my every little idea and creative impulse for the sake of some day easing my fit into a mold. It doesn't involve tempering my life to better fit someone's expectations. It doesn't involve constantly holding back for fear of shaking things up. This is very important, so I want to say it as clearly as I can: FUCK. THAT. SHIT."\
"I think that it's extraordinarily important that we in computer science keep fun in computing. When it started out, it was an awful lot of fun. Of course, the paying customers got shafted every now and then, and after a while we began to take their complaints seriously. We began to feel as if we really were responsible for the successful, error-free perfect use of these machines. I don't think we are. I think we're responsible for stretching them, setting them off in new directions, and keeping fun in the house. I hope the field of computer science never loses its sense of fun. Above all, I hope we don't become missionaries. Don't feel as if you're Bible salesmen. The world has too many of those already. What you know about computing other people will learn. Don't feel as if the key to successful computing is only in your hands. What's in your hands, I think and hope, is intelligence: the ability to see the machine as more than when you were first led up to it, that you can make it more."\
"As for C++, I'll just say that the last time I tried using it, I was having problems with their std::list and tried searching it up online, but only got results of lists of STDs. So I think that says quite a lot about C++."\
"Ughhh I can’t BELIEVE it!!! Different couNtriEs haVING different RAILway GAAAUGES?! ThAt’s
just SO unFAIR! It’s SO inCOHErEnt and FRUstratING! I meAn, sure, wonDERful colORs, fanTAsTic SOUNDS, and oh-so-KAWaIi amBIENCE is deLIGHTful on its own, BUT how anNOYing is it thAT your faVORite mechaNIcal poeTry on whEELS can't even RUN THE SAME GAUGE as the counTRY nextdoor?! It’s just SO baKAYAROU!! No ONE should even HAVE to THINK abOUT this–it SHOuld just BE!! It’s a serIOUS TRAINfic JAM!! SPREAD the RAIlLOVE!"\
"Sorry sensei, I totally forgot to do my homework because I was caught up in this epic quest to save Null Island from a rogue spambot invasion. I was so engrossed in it that I lost track of time and ended up binge-watching xkcd comics instead. And then, my Roomba got possessed by a Trumpism virus and I had to Rewrite it in Rust to stop it from taking over my house. Plus, I had to prepare heart disease-inducing macaroni and cheese for my sick Tsar-Bomba-wielding grandfather, who refused to eat anything else. And just when I thought things couldn't get any crazier, I got a message from Robert Mugabe inviting me to a Nando's chicken eating contest while riding an Excitebike. Needless to say, my bogomips were maxed out and my brain was fried. Can I get an extension?"\
