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AInion
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---
title: "The AInion"
date: 2022-12-05T15:34:49Z
description: "Writing satirical news articles with ChatGPT"
type: "post"
tags: ["ai", "humor", "news", "satire"]
---
ChatGPT... wow. It's great at spitting out mounds of realistic-sounding sentences even with the most absurd prompts. You know what that means! Time to imitate *The Onion*.
All articles were generated with the prompt "Write a long, detailed, highly exaggerated and farcical news article about..." and unedited.
## Programmers being trapped inside Vim and unable to exit
In a shocking turn of events, a group of programmers have found themselves trapped inside the popular text editor, Vim.
According to sources, the programmers were working on a project when they suddenly found themselves unable to exit Vim. Despite their efforts to use the usual escape commands, they were unable to leave the editor and were forced to continue working within its confines.
"It was like a nightmare," said one programmer who wished to remain anonymous. "We were stuck in this never-ending world of text and code, with no way out."
The situation has sparked concern among the programming community, with many calling for a solution to the issue. Some have suggested that a patch be released to fix the problem, while others have urged users to be more cautious when using Vim.
The developers of Vim have released a statement, saying that they are aware of the situation and are working on a solution. In the meantime, they have urged users to be patient and to avoid using the editor until the issue has been resolved.
The trapped programmers are said to be in good spirits and are continuing to work on their project while they wait for a solution. It remains to be seen how long they will be stuck inside Vim, but many are hopeful that they will be able to escape soon.
## Mark Zuckerberg getting banned from Facebook
In a shocking turn of events, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has been banned from the social media platform he created.
According to sources within Facebook, the ban came after Zuckerberg's constant oversharing and spamming of his friends and followers with pictures of his breakfast, cat memes, and political rants.
"We've been trying to get him to stop for years, but he just wouldn't listen," said one Facebook employee. "We had no choice but to ban him."
The move has sent shockwaves throughout the tech world, as Zuckerberg's personal Facebook page had over 100 million followers.
In an attempt to save face, Zuckerberg has taken to Twitter to share his thoughts and feelings on the matter.
"I can't believe they did this to me," he tweeted. "I'm the founder of Facebook, for goodness sake! How could they ban me?!"
However, not everyone is sympathetic towards Zuckerberg. Many users have praised Facebook for finally taking action against his overbearing presence on the platform.
"I'm so glad he's gone," said one user. "His constant updates were driving me insane. Good riddance!"
But Zuckerberg isn't going down without a fight. He has reportedly hired a team of lawyers to appeal the ban and is even threatening to sue Facebook for discrimination.
"This is a clear violation of my rights as a user," Zuckerberg said in a statement. "I will not be silenced and will do everything in my power to get my account reinstated."
Despite his efforts, it seems unlikely that Zuckerberg will be able to regain access to his beloved Facebook. The ban has been met with widespread support from users and employees alike, and it looks like the once-powerful CEO will have to find a new outlet for his endless breakfast photos and cat memes.
The future of Facebook remains uncertain, but one thing is for sure: Mark Zuckerberg is no longer a part of it.
## Hong Kong protesters getting rickrolled by Chinese police
In a shocking turn of events, Hong Kong protesters found themselves getting rickrolled by Chinese police during a recent demonstration.
The protesters had gathered in the streets to demand greater democracy and autonomy from Beijing, but were met with a surprising response from the police. As they marched and chanted, the police suddenly blasted Rick Astley's iconic hit "Never Gonna Give You Up" from loudspeakers, causing confusion and disbelief among the protesters.
But the rickrolling didn't stop there. The police then began to perform synchronized dance moves to the song, with some even donning wigs and sunglasses to mimic Astley's signature style. The protesters, caught off guard by the bizarre display, could only stand and watch in stunned silence.
Some of the more enterprising protesters attempted to counter the rickrolling by playing other songs through their own loudspeakers, but the police quickly drowned them out with louder renditions of "Never Gonna Give You Up."
As the situation escalated, the police even deployed pepper spray and tear gas to keep the protesters at bay, all while continuing to dance and sing along to the catchy tune.
The scene quickly descended into chaos, with protesters running for cover and the police continuing to rickroll unabated.
After several hours of this bizarre standoff, the protesters were forced to retreat, defeated by the combined forces of Rick Astley and the Chinese police.
Many are calling this incident a low point in the ongoing conflict between Hong Kong and Beijing, with some even calling for international intervention to prevent further rickrolling.
But as of now, it seems that the Chinese police have successfully rickrolled their way to victory, leaving the protesters in a state of utter disbelief and confusion.
## A music video starring Kim Jong-un and Xi Jinping
In a shocking turn of events, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un and Chinese President Xi Jinping have teamed up to create a music video that is taking the internet by storm.
Titled "BFFs: The Song," the video features the two leaders singing and dancing their way through various locations in North Korea and China, including a missile launch site and the Great Wall of China.
With lyrics like "We're the best of friends, no one can tear us apart / We're unstoppable, unstoppable / Kim and Xi, we're BFFs" and dance moves that can only be described as "awkward," the video is a humorous take on the often tense relationship between the two countries.
But not everyone is laughing. Critics have slammed the video as a cynical attempt to distract from the ongoing human rights abuses and economic struggles in both countries.
"This is just another example of Kim Jong-un and Xi Jinping trying to divert attention from their oppressive regimes," said one human rights activist. "They might be able to put on a good show, but the reality is that their people are suffering."
But the leaders seem unfazed by the criticism, with Kim Jong-un even posting a tweet boasting about the video's viral success.
"Our music video has over 1 million views! Thanks for all the love, BFFs," he wrote, adding the hashtags #BFFsForever and #KimAndXi.
Despite the backlash, "BFFs: The Song" has continued to gain popularity, with fans creating their own dance routines and remixes of the hit track.
It remains to be seen whether this is just a one-time collaboration or the start of a blossoming bromance between the two leaders. In the meantime, we'll just have to sit back and enjoy the bizarre and entertaining world of Kim Jong-un and Xi Jinping's music video.