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MASEEH
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Anthony Wang 2024-01-16 21:21:17 -05:00
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---
title: "Maseeh"
date: 2024-01-16T21:03:11-05:00
draft: true
description: "A story about Maseeh"
type: "post"
tags: ["shaggy-dog-story", "mit", "fun", "story", "fiction"]
---
Once upon a time, there were three naive MIT freshman named Kanthony, Eter, and Pevin. One ordinary Tuesday, they walked into the Maseeh dining hall for lunch. There inside, they saw three lines: one line for detergent rice, which tastes like detergent and everyone who gets it immediately vomits and throws the rest of their rice away so Maseeh collects all the thrown away rice and washes it and serves it next week, one line for pizzas with grease painted on top with a paintbrush, and one line for pure helonium acid, which consists of hydrogen bonded to helium so that this molecule instantly donates a proton giving it a pH of around -50. After a taste of the vile food, the three freshmen were instantly thrown into shock and rushed to the emergency room. Scarred by their horrifying experience, they vowed to never vist Maseeh again.
The next year, the three freshman became sophomores. Curiosity got the best of Pevin, and he returned to Maseeh, to discover that conditions had improved infinitely. There inside, he still saw three lines, but different from the monstrosities from the year before: one line for a fake rice bowl, one line for decent-looking pizzas but with burnt black crust, and one line for extremely diluted lemonade. Impressed, he messaged the other two sophomores to forgive Maseeh and try the terrible but not deadly food.
Another year passed and the three sophomores became juniors. They returned again to Maseeh, expecting the same bad food as before, but conditions had improved again! There inside, they still saw three lines, but now totally new: one line for shrimp stir fry, one line for picturesque pizzas, and one line for iced tea. Finally! Maseeh had surpassed the Next House dining hall!
Finally, a year passed once more and the three juniors became seniors. They enthusiastically returned to Maseeh, only for their enthusiasm to turn into mania. There inside, they still saw three lines, now decorated with fancy ribbons and lighting: one line for crossing-the-bridge rice noodles made with expensive imported pork bone and Chinese star anise, one line for drool-inducing Neapolitan-style pizza decked with basil freshly cut an hour ago and cheese made with milk from wild water buffalos, and one line for... wait! It appears there's no passion-orange-guava punch line!!